


Some Things Are Best Left Unsaid

by Semoka



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Kinda, Multi, it might be dangerous i do it tho lmao, polysquad, trans hercules, unsafe binding methods
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-08 12:13:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8844541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semoka/pseuds/Semoka
Summary: Hercules is hiding a secret from his boyfriends about why he doesn’t like to be hugged or cuddled. It drives them to the breaking point, and when they push him too far trying to find an answer, the after-effects can make or break everything.





	1. Tell us about it, Herc

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to lafayettes_baguette on here and hhhercules_mulligan on tumblr formaking me cry with a comment on one of my other fics that made me cry and want to write this

Hercules wasn’t a reserved man. He shared everything with his friends and lovers, from how his day went to the occasional TMI. He talked enough to rival Hamilton on good days. He was always a good listener as well on for anyone who needed to rant. He was quick to defend and slow to attack. He was anything but reserved.  
  
That’s why it confused his S/Os so much when he refused to let any of them touch him or touch them past hand holding. No cuddles, no hugs. Quick little kisses were acceptable though, which confused them even more as now it couldn’t be excused with him not liking to be touched. 

Alexander and John wanted to confront him about it, while Lafayette and Aaron constantly convinced them to let Hercules have his privacy. Eventually, Lafayette broke after they’d gotten excited over Hercules gifting them a new scarf and they’d completely forgotten about the rule, hugging Hercules quickly. When they turned back around after looking at themselves in the mirror, Hercules was staring at the ground, tense and shaking slightly.   
  
“Herc? Mon ours?” Lafayette had said gently, reaching out a hand. Hercules had looked up at him for only a second before stuttering out an excuse and bolting out of the room like a frightened animal. 

That night, Lafayette flopped down on Aaron’s bed in their shared dorm. “Tell Alex and John I have broken. We’re confronting our Hercules.” Lafayette muttered into the mattress, Aaron’s feet resting on his lower back as he played on his phone. 

  
“You can tell them. I’m still against this.” Aaron leaned over to the nightstand, grabbing Lafayette’s phone and tossing it to them. Lafayette lifted his head when it flopped next to him and shot off a text to Alex and John. The two soon showed up to the dorm, excited and ready. They both clambered into Lafayette’s bed, Laf with Aaron on his. 

“We don’t want him to feel too pressured, but just enough pressure that he still tells us what’s up.” Alex offers, after an hour of back and forth debates on how to go about this.  
  
“What if it’s some childhood trauma that he doesn’t want to talk about? We shouldn’t pressure him into anything.” Aaron rebuts, on his knees on the bed. It’s rare to see him so fired up and John enjoying it immensly.   
  
“I think that we should ask nicely, and force him to answer by waiting in awkward silence until he does!” He suggests, at this point just enjoying the debate.  
  
“Mes amours, you’re all great thinkers, but there is a 100% effective way to go about this that will have Herc, how you say, in our pocket!” Lafayette, ever the peacekeeper, announces. Alex and Aaron both shut up, John grumbling about how Lafayette knows English perfectly fine. 

It takes another half-an-hour of much calmer back and forth, but by midnight they have a plan.

* * *

 

Two days later, the polysquad was having their Friday movie night at Alexander’s foster home, only a few blocks from campus. Hercules was sat in his own armchair, as per usual. The other four were sprawled across each other on the pullout. It was hard to tell where one began and the other ended.  
  
Alex noticed that every few minutes, Hercules’ gaze would drift over to them. His eyes had a look of longing, and Alexander knew it was time to act. He nudged Lafayette and nodded toward Herc, then both of them got up. John, confused, pause the movie.  
  
“You guys alright?” He questioned, startled by the sudden movement.  
  
“Fine. Hercules isn’t though.” Alex states, crossing his arms and staring down at Herc.  
  
“What are you talking about? I’m fine. Enjoying the movie.” Herc said, letting out a nervous laugh. He glanced at the door, looking for an exit, and saw Aaron casually walking over to encircle him further. He felt trapped and didn’t like it, so he got defensive. “What’s going on?”   

“You refuse to touch us or let us touch you, but refuse to tell us why. You panicked when Lafayette hugged you.” Alexander, ever blunt, announced.   
  
“We just wanna help you, but we can’t do that if you don’t tell us what’s wrong,,” John said, now joining the fray. Hercules refused to meet any of their eyes and started to have the same reaction he’d had when giving Lafayette the scarf. He tensed, enough to start shaking.   
  
With a heavy sigh, like a condemned man, he looked back up. “Guess I have no choice, huh?” He mumbled to himself, letting out a depreciating huff of laughter. “Fine, but you won’t like it.” He stood from his chair and John moved, letting him through. All of his boyfriends could only wait patiently, giving him his time to answer.

 He paced the room for a few moments, running a hand through his hair as he walked back and forth looking for the right words. Finally, he paused and looked back at them. None of them noticed how close he was to the front door. 

“I don’t let any of you hug me because I’m trans and don’t have a binder, so I don’t want you to feel my breasts through the sports bras,” Hercules announced, a pitiful smile painting his features.   
  
None of his boyfriends reacted, all in a state of shock. Hercules nodded to himself as if affirming something. He rambled on, hand on the doorknob behind him.“I know I tricked you all, and that this-” He gestured to himself, to his body. “Wasn’t what any of you expected, or want at all in two cases.” In their hazes, Aaron and John vaguely processed when they told Hercules they were gay. John felt a ping of guilt hitting him as he remembered all of the jokes he’d made about hating pussy and the fake gagging he’d do at Alex’s tales of past sexual adventures with women. 

Hercules opened the door and sent one last attempt at a smile at his still silent boyfriends. “I’m sorry.” He mumbles, more to himself, before leaving as fast as possible. In his haste, he slams the door.   
  
It snaps them all out of their stupor, and they all scramble over one another to get to the door. John gets their first, throwing it open to see Hercules’ motorcycle driving away down the street. He clenches his jaw, eyes burning. He hears Aaron let out a small noise, like a wounded animal and closes the door again.

Slowly, like zombies, they all move back to the pullout. They pile back on, holding each other close. All of them stare at the empty chair that Hercules prevously sat in. 

They play the movie.

It doesn’t feel right. 


	2. Fixing Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things Get Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be longer, but I wanted to end it nicely. I might add a drabble here and there in this universe, but you'll only find those on my tumblr in the end notes (not-so-subtle self promo)

Hercules wasn’t in class the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. 

The only one who seemed to know where he went was Angelica, who refused to tell any of them. It took Aaron distracting her while Alexander took her phone to figure out that Hercules was staying at the Schuyler Mansion for the week at Angelica’s invitation after he told her what happened.   
  
After John and Lafayette begged while Alex gave puppy dog eyes in the background and Aaron looked like someone killed his puppy, Eliza and Peggy were persuaded to let the boys come over and attempt to apologize to Hercules.

When they got there, Hercules was waiting in the living room. Philip nodded at them as they walked in, giving Alexander a reassuring pat on his shoulder and a small encouraging smile. 

Hercules was curled up with a blanket draped over his shoulders, sat with his back to the fireplace and a book on the table in front of him. The fire gently illuminated him from behind, casting an almost angelic glow. Each man stopped short when they saw him, the breath leaving their lungs. Hercules was beautiful, god-like even.   
  
“If you’re just going to stare at me like last time, you guys can leave.” The man of their desires mutters, snapping them out of it.   
  
“This is about last time, Herc, and what you told us.” Alex was quick to say, sprinting to sit across the table from Hercules. “We want you to know that we’re all okay with it.” Alexander reaches into his pocket and pulls out a folded pamphlet, putting it on the table. “You can read that later, but each of us have something to say first. Please listen.” His voice breaks when he says please, and Hercules can’t help but close his book and nod to show he was listening. 

Aaron steps forward first, sitting next to Alex. “I’m gay.” He starts with, earning a small snort from Herc that makes him smile. “You’re a boy. I don’t see anything wrong with us there. Your...bits aren’t what I love. It’s you.”   
  
Lafayette’s next, ignoring Alexander and Aaron’s strategic placement and kneeling right next to Hercules. “Mon ours, you know that I love you. You have breasts, you have a vagina.” The others wince at Lafayette’s bluntness, but Hercules is smiling. “You’re a boy. You’re our boy, and we love you.” He grabs Herc’s hand, bringing it up to his mouth to kiss it.   
  
There’s an awkward moment of silent as they all look at John. Hercules’ eyes are so full of hope and light and uncertainty as John struggles to say something. “It’s fucking weird.” He bursts out eventually. Hercules’ smile falters, but John quickly continues. “And it’s going to take some getting used to. I will never, ever stop loving you, though. Never.” 

Hercules looks at all of them, grinning. “Thank you guys. Really. Thank you.” He opens his arms, inviting and welcoming for the first time.   
  
They look at each other, then cuddle on Hercules in unison. 

They put on a movie.

It feels perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the end of it! Everything ends happily ever after cause I'm a sap lmao
> 
> Kudos are always adored and comments fuel my work ethic~
> 
> Come find me on tumblr for fanfics, fanart, requests, and my general craziness: @semoka

**Author's Note:**

> Off to such a happy start!! 
> 
> Kudos are always adored and comments fuel my work ethic~
> 
> Come find me on tumblr for fanfics, fanart, this fanfic posted there(!!!), and my general craziness: @semoka


End file.
